The highlight reel. Something everyone on social media has become accustomed to.
"There she goes again, off to another place; she must be having the time of her life!"
"Wow -- Hawai'i looks so beautiful this time of year. Why am I stuck in the crappy Wisconsin winter?"
"I am so jealous of *insert fantastic looking or exciting experience* that they are having!"
I have had these thoughts frequently, despite having lived in multiple countries over the last four years. We rarely get a "behind-the-scenes" view of that highlight reel. It's easy to assume from pictures or posts that everything is peachy. From firsthand experience, things are rarely always peachy. On the other hand, when people ask about your life, they seldom ask about the complicated or difficult things you might experience on the way. Truth be told, very few people want to hear about the tears someone shed during their trip to Florida or their moving process to Germany while conversing over a cup of coffee.
Well, I hate to be the one to say it, but that is a part of life.
Speaking truthfully, I have been attempting to write a blog post for the last two months, and while writing my thesis has definitely taken up my brainpower and time, it has not been the only reason I haven't written anything.
The last few months have been hard, and I would not say that most of my time has been "on the highlight reel." Sure, I have some pretty pictures to post and experiences to share, but many parts of the last six months have been difficult and messy. So, in lieu of not being able to bring myself to write only about the highlights, I have forgone writing entirely. Oops.
Until right now, obviously.
So, if you're not ready for me to tell you that parts of the last six months have been difficult, I kindly ask that you wait for my next blog post, which will assuredly be happy-go-lucky. HA.
If you are interested in me telling you "I'm on my way," including all the "gory" details which might be less-than-enchanting, then by all means, READ ON!
My last blog post came from Bocas del Toro, Panamá, where I was completing the internship and thesis semester for my master of International Nature Conservation degree. Overall, I loved living in the tropics and very close to the ocean for a year. In many ways, it felt like a dream come true to work in a place that offered opportunities to dive on coral reefs, meet so many extraordinary scientists and forge relationships I hope to foster in the future. I would say those thoughts are applicable today, and there were challenges that came with living abroad: primarily sickness.
I was sick on and off from July 2022 to February 2023, which made me mad. It started with COVID-19, then dengue fever and strep throat, and finally ended with mononucleosis (at one point, a clinician thought my kidneys were failing). AWESOME! TWO THUMBS UP FOR SURE! WOULD HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS EXPERIENCE TO ABSOLUTELY NO ONE, EVER.
Needless to say, there were many, many, many months where I was absolutely miserable. My saving grace was the people who cared for me while I was ill in Panamá and Wisconsin (shout out to my mom and dad). Balancing my health, relationships with others, work, and moving to New Zealand in February of 2023 left me tired and slightly bitter.
My last months in Panamá were not all bad. I was able to get my Advanced Open Water Diving License (huge thank you to Noelle Lucey, Jeremy Paulus and Panamá Dive School!), travel to the Pacific side of Panamá with a whole crew of amazing people***, see some whales, spend time with people I care about, celebrate Thanksgiving in Bocas (complete with apple and pumpkin pie), do some really cool field work, visit my friends in Panamá City (shout out to Carrie and Simo) and spend an unexpected layover in Atlanta with the sweetest family (looking at you Carly Pope and crew).
I also spent time quarantining and wishing I did not feel sick anymore. All of these experiences overlapped, and I would not be able to separate the memories of being sick from the beautiful moments in Panamá, which is hard.
At one point, I asked my parents if they could take me directly to a doctor after picking me up from the airport. Those feelings continued into January 2023, which was one of the most challenging months I have faced in a while. I think I became part of the living room couch at one point; I had sat on it for so long. Moving was hard, thinking was hard, and sleeping was hard, but I was also home.
Whenever I come home from time abroad, I make it my mission to meet with as many people as possible. I love people. I love getting to see my friends and family. I love seeing familiar faces and listening to what is happening in other people's lives. There was little energy to spare this time, and I did not make it out of the house much.
That is not to say there were not good things. I spent Christmas and New Year's with my family. I was able to see my sister, who was home from Germany, and I was forced to slow down and deal with my physical health. There was good in it all!
February 2023 meant that I was moving to New Zealand. After waiting for almost two years to get into New Zealand (NZ) because of COVID-19, I was finally going to be able to complete my compulsory studies in NZ! All things considered, I made it on the plane, stopped to see a friend in LA, had a five-day layover in Tahiti and arrived in Auckland (on the North Island of NZ) and practically passed out because I hadn't had that much activity for at least a full two months.
In my time since then, I have submitted my thesis (yay!), started three university classes, seen friends from Germany, become better acquainted with my Lincoln Rotary host club, and had to figure out once again how to start a new life in a new place, fully recovered from past sickness (praise God) and many, many other things.
So, if you're still with me. That's what I have been up to for the past six months. I hope to get back into the swing of blogging now that I have settled into Lincoln, NZ and start discussing cool conservation in various places around New Zealand.
Life has ups and downs. I am blessed to be where I am today, and I rest in the fact that hardships are normal, and it is not a weakness to admit to them.
Overall, I hope that you leave room for the hard parts when you have a conversation about your "highlight reel" or that of someone who seems like they are having a great time. I also hope you have people who want to hear about both because the highlight reel and the gory details can go hand-in-hand. We aren't meant to go "on our way" alone.
Alright, I will step off my soap box now and leave you with some of my favorite pictures from the last couple of months (See? I did that after I told you about the gory details).
Photo descriptions
In thankfulness,
the miss in missadventures
As always, a huge shoutout to Elizabeth Zerrien, who designed this blog. Elizabeth also started her own design business, Helio Creative Co.! If anyone is looking for an amazing, patient and talented web designer, please check out her website!
*** I should note that this trip was a blast AND we had a shower start on fire, a scorpion in the car, and a flat tire in a rented vehicle, which really spiced up the trip.
P.S. If you're curious why I chose this blog title, listen to this song from Phil Collins; I play it on every road trip.